BUSY is a 4 Letter Word.

Is busy the new 4 letter word? How many times do you reply to the question, How are you doing?….with simply saying “I’M SO BUSY”? 

I like to reframe negative concepts into positive or pro active ones so as not to become trapped by them. I think most of us are, in fact, busy. The definition of the word simply  means “to have things to do” - which I hope is the case for all of us as adults who work, who play, who have families and friends and jobs…..

I think about the ‘intent’ behind words to establish their real meaning. Real meaning, from a dialogue perspective, includes the non verbal communication that aligns or doesn’t align with the words that come out of us. SO, when someone says their “busy”, do they simply mean they have things to do or does it mean they are feeling frenzied or chaotic or overwhelmed or maybe they just can’t or don’t want to talk to you at that time?

Think about when you tell someone you’re busy? What do you actually mean? Does what you are thinking, feeling and saying all mean the same? Are they in alignment?

Consider this: When you say, “I’m SO busy” ask yourself, “what do I really mean by that?”.

Then, replace it with your true thoughts, feelings or ideas.

Honest, connected dialogue. That’s the WIN.

Which of these resonates with You?

“I’m busy” OR “I’m actually really off my game right now, I can’t get all the things I need to get done today, I’m so frazzled and frustrated. I need some help.”

“I’m busy” OR “I’m super productive right now, I’ve been active all day long and I’m feeling really pumped about al the things I can still get done today.”

“I’m busy” OR “I don’t have time to talk to you right now, you are important to me, but not my priority at this time. Let’s choose another time when I can have a good conversation with you.”

“I’m busy” OR “I wish people would stop asking me how I am right now, can’t they see how busy I am? Can’t they see that I don’t have time for anything but my long list of shit to get done in the next hour, next day, next week….”.

“I’m busy OR “I’m simply exhausted right now. I can’t do one more thing. I’m done in.”

“I’m busy” OR “I’m in a steady groove right now, I’m absolutely loving what I’m doing and I’m feeling really positive.”

“I’m busy” OR “I have a number of things on my mind right now, but I see that you need my attention so I’m going to stop what I’m doing so I can focus on you and enjoy our conversation.”

Which one of those applies to you? When someone asks you how you are and you feel compelled to respond with how busy you are, think about what you really want to say. Check in with how you actually feel. And answer truthfully, with matching intent. Be honest with yourself and others.

Let’s all start really being clear about what we mean by “busy”. This will support such clarity in your message and within your dialogue. The people around you will so appreciate your honesty and the alignment between what you are thinking, saying and feeling will add authenticity to your conversation.

Did you know that when what you say matches your intent (your non verbal cues) that you are more believable, more credible and much more likely to have others listen to you.

Give it a try and share your success or your frustration with me, I’d love to hear it. 

Skilled, honest, intentional dialogue leads to connection, builds trust and just plain feels GOOD.

Try it!

Stay nerdy,

Becky